THE LINE IN THE SAND

I decided I want to be sold out for God.I am on a pursuit for Christ.At a point in time,I have come to realise that in pursuit of the things in my life,I have often become bitter.The other day I was beyond irritated when I could not get my Degree certificate 8 months after graduation,because it is pending a signature...a signature. And there on the wall stood a written declaration"A delay on your side,is not a hurry on ours" But what about a delay on their side which was going to turn into haste on my side?
I prayed for sanity found in Jesus,that I can forgive such injustices done to me.


But in that moment,I made a choice,I needed a better view of life,I needed to fight my battles,insecurities and indifferences with a being far better than me.I needed to find God bigger and deeper and if God was drawing a line in the sand,I wanted to be standing by his side this time around.
So casting all my cares,all my doubts and my heartaches (both heavy and light) I went back to the one man,whose pursuit for me,has been of a holy mission.


I had to find purpose in the things of God,something supernatural should be holding my thrill for life somewhat. Holding on to the words of a friend," Pursue God,for he pursued you first." I hit the journey off,knowing he will keep his promises to me,If I can walk in his footprints.


I am sold out to Christ,I will be always found about the business of my father and if in this pursuit I get the urge to back away,I am sure God's got my back. I am drawing a line in the sand...I am standing ,walking,searching for God and the things that move his heart.

CONFESSION BEFORE THE MIRROR

And there I stood, The mirror showing me a reflection of an innocent yet experienced little lady. How did I end up here? How did I make it through the journey of life, untouched yet so used! I stood there in pale likeness to the me that I used to be, held back by a lot of the chaos life has caused to run through my journey.

Screaming, "HELP ME LORD" and standing in sorrow but with no tears to make me hold back myself. I knew... I knew a lot, yet I had as well touched very little. Then, I heard a voice speak from with in...In little gulps for air.
I asked the image in the mirror to relate with my journey, A little lady with a journey not spoken, a journey travelled but with loads to carry... the cares of  life should not deter living, yet they do! How is anyone ever ready for life? I had sinned in subtle yet profound ways. I had found that evil is incarnate and real and definitely not far from me. I had walked a journey of men and women in flesh.
How did I get it perfectly wrong?

That I could  be the center of affection of the momentary whims of a great man in my eyes, that while I had a strong affection for him, my pride wouldn't let me be just his thought-about thrill killer.
That I could have friends who bring out the best in me, yet fail to share my life with them fully.
That I would love God, yet sin without guilt.

How did I get it perfectly wrong?
That I could long for men who by far may never care for who I am....but that doesn't count for the heart, if it loves...it just loves. Yet, yet in moments of sanity, the mind tells you otherwise, that you have it within you to let God lead no matter what.
A puzzle of sorts life has become, Mirror. That this little lady has grown at the rubbing of each minute. That life has changed the way things were...or maybe never were.

Mirror dear, tomorrow's confusions may have to wait, for my plate is full, full of disgust but yet again glimpse of pride.
Of how I got it perfectly right?
For the woman I am becoming and the beauty I am polishing. For the lessons I am learning, for the men that pursue me, for the God I am learning, for the Mary I am tearing down, for the Shulamite woman I am becoming and the Proverbs 31 woman I am polishing. I am getting there by the passing of the wind...oh yes I am.
As I battle with the demons of life that make it hard to see the beauty with in, I am becoming that which HE called me to be...his child.
I am learning to fall and rise again,  I have learnt how to say no, how to fight my own flesh out bursts and like a grown woman, I am learning to hold on to the sanity that comes from knowing HIS will.

And yes, though pale, as I stood there before the mirror, I saw a beauty that is being shaped not in time spent in anything, but in the mirror of the word of the Lord.
How am getting it so right?

ON BRIDE PRICE AND WHY I NEED MY MUTWALO PAID

 After a petition raised by MIFUMI foundation, a women rights organization in court to remove the bride price because it was a cause to domestic violence if not a catalyst, but without scientific backing the court did not provide the needed remedies for the question on bride price. MIFUMI then appealed to the supreme court , "The Supreme Court of Uganda declared demanding a refund of a "bride price" - the traditional custom of exchanging money, cows or goods for a wife - unconstitutional on Thursday.
In a 6-1 decision, the justices ruled that a man doesn't have the right to claim repayment from his spouse's family if the marriage ends. Husbands often expect the dowry to be returned in cases of dissolution of the marriage."

 
 
Between  the Mahare for the Muslims and the mutwalo for the baganda and whatever name other tribes call bride price, the question then stands, how do we determine payment if the guarantee for the return  is not assured. Aren't we indirectly asking our men to detach responsibility in taking a bride. I am a muganda, and while the Supreme Court rules, my father deserves his mutwalo and I want my future husband to stand ovation when my dad receives his mutwalo from the next protector of his daughter. It is a pride for both men.
"While the practice itself was not struck down by the court, MIFUMI said it hoped that at least the ban on refunds of bride prices would help women leave abusive relationships." My fear then  is for a man to pay my bride price without killing me for not returning it.  How do you then leave, knowing that the man holds wrath on not getting the worth of his cattle heads from me?
How does the Muslim hajat leave without returning Mahare...lest a duwa is said for her disgrace? How do I then get the assurance of any man paying my bride price, if walking away is that easy?


White weddings are easy to dissolve because the ability to share assets is a given and divorce has its terms of process. But in the wake of the fact that our long time traditional pratises have actually spared us broken homes, we might be up for a stake of more broken marriages, single parenthood and an alienation towards marriage in the age to come. We are slowly turning into a society of less family upbringing to a disposition to individuality...

I need my mutwalo paid and regardless of what happens after that, I need the assurance that while my Mutwalo was paid, my marriage should not be held on the fact that I was bought for a price, that I have to pay at the end, or even still my guarantee to stay or leave should not be based on the fact that  I can now leave because the refund has been scrapped. Mine will be a decision, of a vow made to God and to man...For better and for worse...till death do us apart.
 
 

POLITICS OF COWARDS

It is the time of the year where political parties vote their chosen leaders for the next general election and while I am trying not to have the urge to be irritated the opposition gives me nothing but that!
Politics has become very much child play for us ad a country,with one man seeking sole candidacy and writing songs to impress instead of making tangible milestones to impress. But what is rather aching my being is the loss of credibility in the opposition of the land.How then can we defend that they hold an upright cause for the Nation?


Here is our demise,We have a retired party president who says he is not returning yet when the time for nominations...he goes ahead running to pick the documents for nominations.That aside,how can we guarantee that such a man will not ask for sole candidancy once he earns the throne? What even makes you think he is not a replica of the man ruling the Country as we speak!
Another woke up one morning and said he was not running for presidency as well...yet he fought is way back to party president and now he is threatening fire to fall down.


Between failed political discussions,to lack of a nation visionaries,am done with prying into Ugandan politics.The discussions are too shallow,the candidates too weak,integrity meagre,purpose lost and apathy on high.Am stuck in my choice to indulge in parochial leadership and I will  lavish my mornachial King with love and powerful pride while the struggle for power leaves puppets and rag dolls fighting for a partition of Uganda.The pride has been stolen from her-Uganda.
So go on and vote for the rot left in the system and while you are at it...Pray for men of Valor to redeem the land...Not men good at child's play.

WHY NOT ME?

Often times when life hits us with trials and discomfort, our first reaction is to ask God,"Why me?"
It is so natural that our first reaction is to question the existence of good will in our lives.While many won't wish it on another person,the sense of God betraying one's trust lingers near the surface and makes the"Why me?" more valid than anything.


But over time,I have to realise the question should be"Why not me?"When there are alot of blessings coming our way right after the storms of life.
Why not you? When he has promised to wipe all your tears away.
Why not you? When he promise to be with you through the storms
Why not you? When he has provided sufficient grace to get you through the dark days
Why not you when he has promised  refining of faith
Why not you? When there is a greater victory heavier than your trials.


Why not you? Why not me?If It turns out to be me, then may I hold on to his grace, to his embrace and his unfailing love and go forth through the darkness because it of the tunnel of my trials is his glory waiting to be manifested.
Why not me?

LAYING It ALL

I gave my life away...
There at his feet,I laid it down
I found...there was nothing I could do. Without his leading
And in my weakness only He found Perfection
I gave myself away
To a being I knew not...Yet the choice brought me comfort
Amidst the chaos of life ...I found my life in him...he who loved me with the cause of having me near to him...
In his close embrace I decided to fall...I was sold out to his call,his mission but most of all his love.
I gave my will away to let a flow of His purpose in my plans..
I sold my soul to God for all the right reasons...I gave him all that I was and all I ever hope to be.
And Yes ..he then quenched the fire in me and made me new and whole...
He took all my failings and tamed for a better cause...
I gave myself and away...not some of me but all of me...
I laid my life away..when his love swept me off my feet 👣

YOUR DREAMS ARE VALID

Your dream is Valid!


Many times our dreams are brought under a microscope and they are tested on how valid and authentic they are.
We along the way are pushed down and dismissed by the people in our circles and our dreams are pulled down before our very eyes.


But through Joseph's life (Gen 37), we can build our faith again in our dreams. Joseph the dreamer,as they called him affirmed his belief in his dreams by sharing them with others. Even when his brothers dismissed his dreams,Joseph held on to his dreams. And God surely did bring them to pass.
I have many dreams,some I have given up along the way and I know that many things have tested the authenticity of my dreams.


And while I have learnt to guard my dreams and keep them from dream breakers,I acknowledge the need to keep believing in them and moving to their fulfillment.
To every person out there,Your dreams are valid and powerful and achievable but you've got to beat the odds of life and move towards the destiny of your dreams.


And surely God is with us to bring to pass His very word of a prosperous future that we hope for.
Your dreams are valid and God is going to prove that to you.

I WILL STAND FOR IDEAS OTHER THAN INDIVIDUALS!

In the wake of election fervour and the timely need for strategies on how to make sure that democracy prevails and there is change of leadership in the coming general elections.Teams have been made and lines drawn, it is either the NRM or the Democracy Alliance which was launched yesterday. Whereas I have always wished that we have less political parties to avoid the confusion especially at the polls. Other than that, as much as the Movement days are far gone, standing for ideas under the Movement was paramount in provindg an individual with a deep vision for the Nation.

Why, even now more than ever am I refraining to individual politics? You see, it is easy to forget the attrocities done on a Nation by people just because they finally appeal to the cause that we have for so long fought for. In this very case, I can never be accepting of Mr Amama Mbabazi, not now and definately not ever and I feel the deep pain of betrayal of the opposition taking on Mbabazi as if he was a saint from the go.(they say in politics there is no permanent enemy, as if it comforts my long desire for integrity) You know, once a thief always a thief. It doesnot go away, it stays with you far long than it should. When Amama Mbabazi was being paraded for scandal and corruption cases, everyone was at his throat, everyone saw the injustice he did to our Nation and it bitterly made many activists come out and denouce publicly their dealings with Mr Mbabazi and the like. We were bitter as a country and we wanted him to pay for his attrocities. And then the unlikely happened, he was elavated to Prime minister of a country that he had robbed continously. Yet in all anger we let him stay and take on his term. Unfortunately, to him and maybe fortunately to us Mr Amama was laid off his duties. I want to believe for reasons he finds unjustifiable. But then that doesnot make him a saint, it makes him just a victim of ill luck and maybe karma came seareching him out.

So then, how come in just a scope of months he has become one of us, him who ate the tax payers money,him who ate with the pigs in the Animal Farm, just because they chased him out of their circle he now feels that he belongs with us or rather we have made him apart of us.
I will stand for my integrity on a day like this, I will stand for democracy and sanity and not for a man who has served a self benefiting government and only thinks he can help bring back the nation to sanity by using the easy change of heart that lies deep in the souls of many Ugandans. I will never stand to hail the cause of Mr Amama Mbabazi much less of the reknown Sejjusa. I hate double stepping, you don't sleep with the devil and then come and make friends with the crowd simply because the devil can't have you anymore.

Therefore, as the opposition takes on 2016 elections as a coalition, I want to believe in ideas if they present viable ones, I want to see if they can redeem themselves. I want to see new faces being fronted for the cause. I want to have a litttle hope in their joint effort or else at the look of things from where I stand,we have a wounded animal for an opposition. There is a lot of work needed to be done to ensure that party members along the country can stand and present an individual who has ideas that are to change the country. One who is not power hungry like Mr Amama, bukenya and Sejjusa. I need to stand for ideas of democracy, development and growth. I choose to believe that all the prodigal sons of NRM do not stand for such a cause because they have once betrayed their land,they have once adamantly eaten from the National treasury yet went without any punishment given to their misconduct. so not now, not ever in my wildest dreams will I buy into a journey to better governance led by Mr Amama Mbabazi, Sejjusa or Gilbert Bukenya.
I wil stand for Ideas and not Individuals and they lack the former.

HOW FAR CAN WAITING GO?

Is waiting an African thing? I have been rather fustrated this morning at the level of snail business at my work place, well it so happens that we had one doctor on duty and he had to attend to all the patients(safe to note he is Korean) In the midst of such a crisis, the doctor had to be in for a procedure that rather takes more time than seeing one patient does. With a queue of about seven patients, there before my very eyes, I knew waiting is not a thing for all Nationalities. I was tired of waiting for the doctor, who on a rther safe side had to take his time and work on the patient to their satisfaction. Yet, I died inside knowing that these waiting patients also had a desperate need that needed his attention.

Now, I am terrible with patience and alot of times, I find an irritation in the wait. But in the face of a patient..in Uganda, how long should the wait be? In a country where a patient's health is subject to the mood of the attendant or the doctor, how long should the wait be? Should we do away with emergencies in the event that we find no reason to make our systems run faster than we have them run.
I was brought back, face to face with the reality of the sham of service delivery in our Nation. The reality that a child, mother and any one could die so easily to unpreventable circumstances. I was left stuck in such a system for two hours and even though I was on the service end of the system, I was disgusted to the brim. I wanted to thelp, yet I was caught between the dead end.( Iam not a doctor)

Health care then, is just not a problem for National refferal hospitals but for Private hospitals as well. It is a disease eating away the fabric of service delivery in the institutions that look after our heslth and maybe in due time, there will be less to look forward to in the many service providers that have infested our country with sham unqualifying hospitals. Today, I stand in such service and today, I feel the plight of the client , who out of their fustration have to wait to get served for more than normal hours of waiting.

Waiting as normal as it is, brings forth our impatience when it is streched beyond normal. I hope in due time, things will change around here and the around the country as well.(time check: 12:30 pm, most patients have gone and the doctor is seeing his third patient for the day.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY GENERATION?





Today, I woke up to the pain of a heartache, Yet again former FDC president spent the night at the jailor's. In a need to deliver the freedom desired by the people of our land, he has gone against all comfort to find a cause to stand for. I hail his patriotism and I write about it with pride.

But what happens to a generation where the cowards outweigh the brave ones? Where fear is rooted deep in the construction of the men that rise in my Country. Men, that would rather see the land of their fore fathers die for, go in rot, one day at a time. It is appaling that while there is a sweep of change and transformation on the African Continent, country men in Uganda are rather in "shake mode" on how to go about the revolution of change. It is heartening, and very suprising that in a time when our generation should hold the government in place accoutable for the failures it has caused and the duties it has put aside, we are rather side-stepping that calling. Each generation has a duty to the nation that is set to come but ours has failed the forth coming generation. We continue to fail them in our cause to deliver a better tomorrow to them.

When, young men like Andrew Karamagi, risk all comfort to fight a government that has made progress hard on all levels. Then the hope for a better Country, tomorrow is in glimpse. But there is only a countfull of The Karamagi's and if in the near future my dear friend ever gave up hope(God forbid) then the hope for freedom would die subsequently.
But what would happen in the event that instead of Karamagi losing hope and Dr Besigye having many young energetic youth willing to do what he does,(fight for the freedom of the land.) Then the hope of the next generation will be awakened. Then my hope for a redemption to these words will see the day of light.

We need to rise up and redeem this land, and fight for development and rescue the pride of Africa. We need to bring forth the valour of our generation, such that when they arrive..they can journey through and will have a need to also stand for their next generation. We have to stand for justice, fight for freedom and deliver back Uganda. It is the duty of this generation...it is my duty as much as it is yours.

Unless, we choose to stay silent. Unless, we choose to fail them!

A NATION THAT SLEEPS ITS WAY TO DEVELOPMENT

30 years and still counting...Now we have a Sole Candidate(read dictator). In my few years here,I have come to see apathy embrace even the die-hards who saw a glimpse of change coming.But most of all,I have seen unemployment,lawlessness, and mediocrity eat up the whole Country. 

People are okay with enough,No one wants to struggle so hard...but yet again everyone wants to live comfortable.I hate to compare,but in development it makes for a better view of one's journey if you can pick lessons from other Nations that have grown exceptionally.We have been sold to a lie that a few road works and the discovery of oil shall deliver us to the state of a Middle Class Economy(read Country).

 We have been told that there will be job opportunities,increased income and all that kind of dreamy nice stuff.But we have not been told the struggle of true worth...Human development.In Countries where development has happened and the standard of living is very good also has a very good work ethic. While here in Uganda,we get to have a whole 8-11 hours of sleep and nothing to do.Countries that are developing have pushed their day into the night.They work hard to make a better life for the generation to come.

While we are home by 7:00pm, other people are off to work and while we sleep...Nations are developing by the candle light. My friend from the States on living here for a while was rather disturbed...He finds the nights so long here in Uganda. I understand his point.We have chosen to sleep while the thieves snatch the dream of our generation and generations to come.

We were given a lie for fundamental change.

IN THE WAKE OF THE ELECTORAL REFORMS ALONGSIDE THE NGO BILL

Electoral reforms come so timely,If we can push for them,then we can be sure that there is a step forward into insisting on Constitutionalism.

The whole country needs to gear up for the urgency in the need for electoral reforms.We need a clean voter registry,without ghost voters to say,an independent electoral commission, Set rules on by-elections. Standard guidelines on media coverage. We need for demilitarization of the electoral process among other demanding reforms.In the midst of that struggle,we also are in the fight for a revision on the provisions of the NGO bill(can someone get it for me) We need to recognize that thinking of a way to turn NGOs into apolitical bodies by making the environment of operation hard is self defeating in itself.For a long time,the Country has found itself at the help of these very NGOs. Stifling their work environment is as shooting off the hand the feeds the home.We then question the people behind the bill. Are we afraid the Order Management Law is not enough? Are in fear that NGOs have a strong bearing on the political atmosphere of the day? Or there are big sacks similar to the ones given every time a trivial bill is turned into to law? Or even still,it is a time to cause a little distraction while some shady work is being done in the background. 

Opposition leaders making a case at the parliament for electoral reforms in Uganda

 

Whatever it is a bill as such is bound to cause a lot of ground loss for the stability of all stake holders. It impinges on a lot of NGO work that has for so long helped bridge gaps that the government cannot fill.But anyway,when a state is changing into a full autocracy,it is in times like these that the people's voice matters.That the brave stand and speak for change.Wherever you are...Writers should write for change,Poets should rhyme for changes,Farmers should raise their hoes high for change,Mothers should teach their children of change,No matter who you are or what you do to live...In the name of whatever you believe in...Your voice to our demise will make a step forward to liberty.We are in search of a better fundamental change...not left in words but in our actions...in deed we look to shift our Motherland into a Nation of pride.The struggle is on.#Electoral Reforms#NGO Bill#Autocracy Strategies.

Dr. Livingstone Sewanyana presenting a case for the NGOs in one of the parliamentary committees

 

ON DIRTY POLITICS, ELECTORAL REFORMS AND WHY STAY-PUT LEADERS AFFECT DEVELOPMENT

2016, is where we are all looking, the General elections pre-circumstances have left air of feared havoc during and after the general elections for Uganda. Now, that we have a sole candidacy campaign that has been endorsed for the ruling party and many party leaders resigning from their party leadership and others pulling out from the presidential ambitions, we are left with a rather disillusioned  conclusion to what 2016 will be like.  Of the violence, the tear gas, the arbitrary arrests, rigged ballots and finally the announcement of the sole candidate of the ruling party as the "democratically" elected president of Uganda. We are in a point in time, where the minority take the day and people have resorted to the attitude of "if you can't beat them, join them" and gradually the cause for democracy has been replaced by tolerance and compromise with our stay put leaders.

Africa's dilemma and probably the most probing question, is to why change of leadership is still a hard pill to swallow in Africa? Why even after the disastrous leadership of the late Idi Amin Dada, our leaders still desire to be life presidents? Presidential ambition has become an evil desire, you either support the incumbent or you are dragged to court on grounds of terrorism or witch hunted until you give up all cause. 
But the situation needs to be remedied in order to provide lasting solutions to the Ugandan electoral system, to the process of leadership and to future of Uganda. In the event that the proposed electoral reforms that where forwarded by CCEDU (Citizens' Coalition For Electoral Democracy) are  not adopted before the general elections, then we might have a case of a continuous vacuum in the democracy and development of our country.

We heard it said, that the development of a country hinges on its politics and the political system which by far survive on democracy should be in a proper working system. Now, given the outplay of events in Uganda. With term limits scrapped off for 11years on and soon life presidency might be the near future reality, we find ourselves stuck in a cycle that cannot deliver change to the people of my Country.  53 years after independence, we ought to have travelled a journey of tangible and world recognised development. We ought to have shifted into a middle income country long before our golden jubilee but the reality of the situation is that we are giving the same solution to the long realised problem. We are indirectly as a citizenry giving permission to our leaders to abuse and defile the constitution of the land and thereby leaving us stuck in a state of apathy and disillusionment which is fast killing the fiber for change in our society. 
Young men have resorted to swift spending in gambling centers while the old men boast in reminisce of the good old days. But we cannot continue to look to the colonial times to justify today. Solutions for today have been given in the need to modify our constitution, provide for term limits and constructive destruction of the colonial development, so we as a society can build our solutions and working plans for development. 

 The urgency in addressing the problem of life presidency should be revisited on all grounds, to create room for dynamic change and progress in the development of Africa as a Continent. As we borrow from successful democracies on how they achieved free and fair leadership, we can embrace change of power that will deliver a rise of new ideas, new working solutions and development in the long run. 
 In a matter of fact way, we can only get out of this rat hole if we brace our selves, either for transitional change or for forceful change. We either hold the reigns of our freedom and the urgency of our development like the Burkinabes and deliver our Country from thievery or we could lay in the misuse of our puppet leaders (who are by far no different from slave masters) and give away the last hope for the next generation, to witness change, freedom, free and fair elections and most of all clean politics that can guarantee development.

ON LITTLE ROOM FOR OLD FOLKS...a tale of lost respect.

Makerere University concluded it's 65th graduation ceremony last week and in all spirit and joy everyone was excited to be done with school and everything that entails the academia...the first degree is ever so a delight. An estimate of 14,000 students graduated but government has potential to create jobs for only 4000 graduates..the wonder then is in the air, of how the 10,000 will survive.
In the job market today, ages from 21 to 70 plus hustle for the same jobs, old men have chosen to battle the world with the little ones and in such a setting a bitterness that sprouts from deep frustration in the way things are has left many a people determined to make sure that the grand mamas and grand papas don't find it easy to get their way out.

Ideally, society has taught us to respect the elders and give them priority treatment, an elder in the African society has always been a reflection of knowledge, wisdom and a lot of respect.The children of our society have always been reminded that it is the dirty spot in the old man's eyes that sees clearly and what an old man sees sitting the young cannot see standing.These were pointers on how  great in wisdom the old folks were...until things changed!!! As a matter of fact the general outlook of the African society today has a rather different dynamic compared to the prior days, today old folks are far from peak and example of knowledge, wisdom and respect they used to be.It has come to my notice that in our time,it is very hard to attach age with maturity and wisdom. We have missed the chance  for men and women to be given invaluable knowledge and wisdom that was passed on to the old folks. It is known in many developing societies, that as the young men of society lead the society, the old folks are meant to be giving advise and direction to these young ones. But what happens in a society where you sit in a interview queue with a 60 year old, or when you are competing to get promoted with a 65 year old or worse still the 50 year old is in need of a girl 25 years of age, one a man of 30 also needs? What is left is a battle field and ground for competition.Old folks today have been scrapped off the pages of people who command authority and respect and have been left with bare heads as just men, ordinary old men.

Today, a man of 60 will steal and find no excuse in reprimanding his character, a man 70 years of age will rape a child and find no cause to be remorseful and that beats all levels of needed respect. Where have the men of honor gone...men that taught children to work hard, men that devoted the last years of their lives to making young people become better people, the men that made the African society flourish with respect and praise of their abundant wisdom.We need those men, men of integrity. We pray for such men to teach our young men how to treat women and how to raise families, how to protect their children..those great men,we need in our society to breed again great old folks.

ON CONVERSATIONS WITH STRANGERS

So I listened intently,Quietly as the conversation went into a new wave..something that I find interest in, Marriage. In his tale of 20 years of marriage these were the words of a grown husband, father and grand father to a rather unset fair lady,who in my opinion needed this wisdom as much I did.And then as he spoke, I listened more intently than my neighbor with a need to hear of his great lessons on life and beyond.

This is how the conversation went on:

Married man: Good evening my daughter
Fair lady neighbor: Good evening sir
And the conversation that set in from that point led them to this rather life changing one.
Married man: You see, my daughter,times have changed...what we valued before has no regard  in your times..I admit, some of the reasons are that we didn't offer an all round job in raising this generation well but also part of it is in the choices you make as children of this generation.Outside those two reasons,only God can tell.
Fair lady neighbor: You mean all the other chaos doesn't count? Like poverty, bad leadership..
Married man: You see, my daughter if you look closely they already exist in the two I have said. I have been married for 20 years and I still find the lessons I learnt as a young man valid for use even today.I chose to have one wife even when two or three could have been permitted in our time. I am a happy man simply because I am a good husband.
Why I talk about marriage now is because all and everything society is to become comes from this union,societies are built by the great bond of two people willing to nurture and raise a Nation, those two become 5 then 10 and then 1000 of people willing to raise generations.
Fair lady neighbor: I understand, but then that means families have failed to provide generations that are worthwhile. Especially husbands...many men today are crooks and lazy...they want everyone to wait on them.
Married man:(with a rather patient smile on his face) You know, I have had this conversation with one of my daughters before she got married and she sounded a lot like you. But lets break this down before we reach society.
Marriage was and is one of the defining moments in one's life, girls dream of the dress they will wear and men of the bride they will take. Everything else falls with in our many dreams for marriage. We all start out with good intentions, be it raising children or getting married or even starting a  relationship...for every sane person,there was an intention that was pure and promising.So things only fall apart along the way, not before they happened.
The wonder has been in the air of the many orphaned children, single mothers, single fathers, trending sexuality questions, teenage pregnancies but all this has only but suffered a change in morality and values. Values have been redefined to suit the trend and morals have been long washed from the need to be used. So you see my daughter, as you cry for the loss of valor in men, they too cry for the loss of virtue in women. It is everyone and anyone but we ought to be objective that society still has men and women who have a belt of value and virtue still tied around their hearts. You seem a nice person, I choose to believe you are, I pray you meet a man better than me.(In my head I had made this man an angel yet he claimed he was not any good) I saw the confusion on my neighbor's face, she must have been thinking the same.
Married man then extended his head forward and smiled at me and he went on with his words of wisdom, it was then that I realised the whole taxi was silent listening intently to this bundle of knowledge give a few highlights on what life is.

Married man: So dear, as you find your way through life, you do what is right and the right things will come your way. To be sure it is going to be hard, there will be seasons of dryness and seasons of plenty... enjoy both. I don't know if you are in a relationship, but that principle applies to both single and married life. Everyone should get a chance to find a forever partner...I did and am still smiling to this day. Pray for whoever you will end up with, because I know, we might not redeem the whole generation but today I am sure I have redeem one person for a start...so I am confident that you will raise children with great morals and values so that they too can raise others with morals and values.The cycle should go on,we must find a way of making the cycle move on. But you have to put such a cycle in a union like marriage. Until then, prepare yourself avidly for the task ahead.
Married man: Think about it my daughter...(He paid his transport fare and a few minutes later, married man  got off his stop and went)
I know that conversation was for whoever was on that taxi but I choose to own this conversation because this man taught me a truth to life, that has brought new purpose to me.

A DEVELOPMENT WORKER'S REALITY

I find myself in a generation where everything is upside! In a country where impunity is a second language to the people and the rule of law is by far a fading reality for me and the people that walk this red African soil...It has been said that Africa will  never get the respect she so desires, unless she takes her governance in her own hands and also finds her place in this world as a super continent and that calls for development and sustainable at that.But the reality of a country like mine is that of;corruption, disease, neo-colonialism, human rights abuse and quagmire systems of democracy. And in a such situation I search for my need to cause change. Men and women my age have made a difference in different ways and in my own small way I let my words each day be the voice ever so needed to bring life to the unheard revolution...for long time pen and ink have been the strongest weapons to fight for change.


As a development scholar, I have been left to the detrimental discussion on what to do and where to go from hereon....do we find a solution to our demise as a collective or does each  individual find a solution from where they stand? Do we stick to the so-called" rigid" culture beset in our existence or do we find a flexibility in the provided solutions represented by the western so called "developed" countries.Where do we go from here? Where each effort to cause change as a country has been met with lost lives or where picking lessons from great leadership, has only ended up making men in positions of power more rigid than before. Where do we find a lasting solution to our very much dark future,will we have to take up arms, to cause war or die to the last man before the cause of freedom is acknowledged.Do we have a way out or we die to apathy for the longest part of our lives as we pray day and night for a miracle to befall our nation and bring an end to the repugnant rule we have been subjected to...what do we do from here?


Problems have been mentioned, solutions given and yet we are still stuck in a leadership of violence and deception, reduced to mere beggars in our very own country. Are we better off as a people independent or as a protectorate? that answer I live to see answered and so pray dearly that all this chaos will be over when we raise children for this Nation. May future generations find cause to be proud of our generation, may children sired be raised to know a better life than I did, but only that can happen in a rise of morality, values and integrity, It can only happen in a lifted love for one's country,in the patriotic search for freedom...it can happen in our continued search for a better place to raise our children and protect our mothers but such change only happens if a people is ready for change.Until then, my need to see sustainable development happen, lies in far land hoping and waiting for the appropriate time to redeem my Nation.
That is my reality...for now.