You start to realize a pattern of restless sleep time and then you notice that the horrors are back on, It is yet another season of bouts of depression and sullen moments. You are lonely and for yet another season, you just hope someone will hold you and tell you they love you. Yes, the season has yet again arrived when you are lonely and depressed and what to do about is the question to ask?
Unless, you are beyond perfection, we have all had times of despair, loneliness and traces of depression. And it is in these moments that you realize that there is a void within us that desires something intangible, maybe it is the need to be understood or the need to be loved. And dear christian, you will as well feel alone even with Christ as your most satisfying friend. There will be times when even surrounded by people who love you, you feel all alone and the weight in your heart leaves you numb to the situations around you, because nothing makes sense.
I have had my moments of lonesome detachment, I have died within for some one to hold me and rock me back to the choleric that I am, I am not the life of the party but I am pretty much sure of the smiles I create when I am in my very own crowd. So what does one do, when the bouts of depression rob you of your regular self. I thought of what I would do between the moments of uncertainty, cloudy mornings and in the lone cold days full of heartaches and rain, God I hate the rainy days.
So here is what I would do;
1.Cry; I would cry all I want, somehow after a long while of being strong and holding it together.Breaking down is a justification for all the things that I go through.
2. I call my best friend; I love my best friend, she says little but important things that remind me that I have an army that counts on me.
3. I then, black out (I don't know why it always works) I just go black on everything. I make less calls, less social media show ups and in the moments of just me, I find comfort.
4. I try routine (on a normal day, I hate routine) but I fall into routine,maybe because, in the while I can't carry on any new tasks.
5. I read, yes read lots of book, on hope, God, love, development name it, I just read.
6. I cry some more and then I read through my old journals (Journaling is definitely therapeutic)
7. I then find out why I am depressed, half the time my heart is just tired of many things.Of waiting on God, of being strong, waiting on love, of heartbreaks,of rejection e.t.c
8.Then I wake up one morning and it is not as bad as it was before. And going on is not as hard as it first presented itself. And the old me is back and full of herself.
P.S: Sleep intervals is by far the most evident way to realize that something is not right in your system, you don't totally lose sleep but you have lots of wake pauses during the nights. I do not know what is going in the system but it is worth knowing.
