TO THE ONE THAT HOLDS THE TORCH

To him that carries the torch;

We see you,

We hear  you.

In the midst of this busy life,

We hinge our journey on your truth,

Because we listen.

We listen and take to heart,

We see you in the eyes of change,

We see you in the hope of a Nation,

We see you, for you are the one we have been waiting for.

And we walk towards the light that you emit

We walk to get a shimmer of your tenacity

That we might get a chance to change this city.

And see the winds of change sweep the men out of their day slumber...

A man I know had a dream... 

In oblivion we gazed but yet the reality of it now lives with us.

So in your hope, we sit and believe for better,

In your zeal we pen our passions,

In your tenacity we have mastered a stubborn persistence.

You hold the torch to the journey ahead.

Stepping in every footprint you leave behind, we trek on.

May your light never lack the oil that fuels the fire to dream for such a Nation.

For your dreams awaken the hope in our contention.

Let there be light...always.

BROKEN

And there I sat,

Leg lurched and my heart un bound.

Silently wailing...

Not one more

Not one more

They never did teach us what mastering love looks like.

They never did teach us what breaking felt like.

They put us here only but to learn on the journey.

And there I was torn yet again...

And this one left a sting  and muscle.

There I was building a strong wall,

A wall to cut off the drama of understanding a human soul.

Not one more

Not again

Not another heart break

This one i will live through 

But this heart is done feeling

This heart is done reaching out

This heart is fast bound

Not one more human

Not one more undress

Not one more embrace

Not one more

As the last one walked away

I knew a sure thing

I was done dating sons of men

For they have thicker skin than I do

I might not know what this heart will survive on

But the love of men is broken

Deceitful 

Washed out

Scarred

So I pick this fragile heart

I pick this crushed soul

I pick this little hurt girl

And take her in my arms

And love her 

For in the reality of life

I only have me

THE NEVENDER LOUNGE: In honor of Joel B Ntwatwa(2018) R.I.P

Letter to Nev

The other night, we celebrated you. We listened to your poetry and we sat in the glory of its sacredness. I remembered you from that calm stance you always had, scarf around your neck and never the impulsive one.

I wear a band with one thing we seem to hold on to; Now more than ever, “Hope never runs dry” Yes, Joel...My hope is running deep into the joys of what you have birthed. Something is growing, slow but sure. I see the ray of hope built in what you left behind.

You still whisper loudly, you still speak words even in the farthest of galaxies.

Nev; We remembered how you much you made us all feel special. Today, I thought I knew you better but we realized in the fall of the night; that you loved us selflessly. Thank you for being our only personal person.

In your hope, we write of seasons passing, seasons ending. And we write more in honor of not letting you go. So we stay in this hope, In this moment, to live through life as our torch of light...carrying us on through this uncertain journey.

Beyond the furthest of this hope is us seated in joy for the lives changing and the lives changed in the conversations, interactions and confidence you left with in us.

We still burn with hope, in all we do...we know, you would get it. Even in these words. I feel you close by. Smiling and choosing not to say a thing until my bubbly self cools off. 

Rest easy Joel... Enjoy Christ (That is the hope that lasts even after.)

P.S; The Nevender Legacy continues to light a path in the journey and works of Joel Benjamin Ntwatwa. You can be apart of this effort by donating to the work they are doing in honor of Nev.

Letter to Nev

The other night, we celebrated you. We listened to your poetry and we sat in the glory of its sacredness. I remembered you from that calm stance you always had, scarf around your neck and never the impulsive one.

I wear a band with one thing we seem to hold on to; Now more than ever, “Hope never runs dry” Yes, Joel...My hope is running deep into the joys of what you have birthed. Something is growing, slow but sure. I see the ray of hope built in what you left behind.

You still whisper loudly, you still speak words even in the farthest of galaxies.

Nev; We remembered how you much you made us all feel special. Today, I thought I knew you better but we realized in the fall of the night; that you loved us selflessly. Thank you for being our only personal person.

In your hope, we write of seasons passing, seasons ending. And we write more in honor of not letting you go. So we stay in this hope, In this moment, to live through life as our torch of light...carrying us on through this uncertain journey.

Beyond the furthest of this hope is us seated in joy for the lives changing and the lives changed in the conversations, interactions and confidence you left with in us.

We still burn with hope, in all we do...we know, you would get it. Even in these words. I feel you close by. Smiling and choosing not to say a thing until my bubbly self cools off. 

Rest easy Joel... Enjoy Christ (That is the hope that lasts even after.)

P.S; The Nevender Legacy continues to light a path in the journey and works of Joel Benjamin Ntwatwa. You can be apart of this effort by donating to the work they are doing in honor of Nev.

On the Namuddu Poetry Lounge

There is something about poetry that awakens me and reminds me of the things buried deep within me, the joy, the laughter and the love that only words can voice sometimes. And there I was listening to the poems of my dear friend Namuddu, she holds the accolades of being my mum, after all she has my mother’s name. 

This lounge was dear to my heart, mostly because over time, when I look back on the works of the Lantern meet of poets, the “Bittersweet: Love is forever “ recital still awakens me to emotions buried and alive in me and in that recital Ann’s work was the highlight of the night.

So I went, without a doubt excited to hear her voice on the issues that trouble our hearts. At least my heart is painted in her poem “Raindrops”. Ann said, “when she was not heard by one person, she wrote for a thousand to hear.” But maybe what I would want to say to her about her poetry is that, it is the mirror of a lot faces, as complex as love is or as complex as we make love out to be, we find ourselves in the words that show up in her poetry. I will speak for myself, I have seen myself lose my innocence and I could tell the difference it had from my ignorance. I have loved and found a shadow on the other side, I have had oceans of love to give, I have grown numb many a times from the hurt, I have cried my heart out and I have loved yet again, sometimes I would be the only one participating. Yet the anthem still rings, don’t give up on love.I have smiled through heartache and yet here we are...long after love failed us, or we failed love whichever way the universe will sway the person on the receiving end of the poem.

Where I find the liberation is in the power of the pen, you get this strong emotion, subject, muse and put it out in words, and give it a face and make it come to life, that is powerful, that is a place of strong standing and that is a place I want to hold Ann at, That even when words flow from the spaces that we are in, the true power is in realizing that in giving these words a face, we tell the story of many people, in a few lines.

On finding Selah, I wish I had told Ann that a pause or a stop has never been a bad thing, if there is rebirth after it. She spoke of closure, I saw new beginnings. When we write, we give birth to new thought, new ideas and to new purpose. And even though we enjoy Ann’s poetry on love and everything in between. Knowing the little I know about Ann, I cannot wait to read the storm of knowledge that is going to come out of her essays. I have seen the power of her pen and that above everything puts me in reckless hope of what she will birth out of her many thoughts on Feminism, social justice, mental health and other subjects there of.

The Namuddu lounge was a Phoenix rising moment and I was glad to be a part of it. It was much closure and it was rebirth. I don’t know where her thoughts are at but I am sure they are holding up a holy fire of new work to be devoured.

Keep on Keeping on my Namuddu